A perspective on relationships within the energy system

In this blog I would like to discuss relationships.  Most of us get involved in many relationships throughout our lives.  I have been spending a lot of time examining relationships…mine and those of others around me.  Some of our relationships last a long time while others are short lived.  Some of our relationships are purposeful and well understood while others seem to be driven by forces beyond our understanding or control.  Some of our, and sometimes our, relationships are filled with conflict and negative energy while others feel more supportive and filled with positive energy.  Relationships appear to be the primary way we operate in, and learn about, the world.  When I think about it ….. there does not seem to be any time that we are not existing  in and as relationship to someone or something else.  Without relationships could we exist as beings?  It appears to me that relationships are, in fact, what we are, and what we exist as.  If we are not interacting with other beings/things than we are thinking about our past or future interactions or reacting in some emotional way in our minds regarding our relationships with others.  So then maybe what we are is relationship.  But what is a relationship but a transfer and or transformation of energy between beings.  So then maybe what we are and exist as is conduits…..conduits for energy.    

When we get involved with another human being on a very personal level, often referred to as a romantic relationship, we see this as a special relationship that we have chosen.  We often priorize these relationships and through the frequency of interaction become entwined with this particular person to the point where the relationship itself becomes its own entity and  the individual becomes secondary to the relationship entity.  In terms of energy we could say then that this type of relationship is a supercharged energy system where a lot of energy is built up and released (transferred and transformed) frequently through intense emotional experiences and sexual encounters.  A pattern of energy transfer/transformation develops in most relationships via the frequency of similar energy transfer which lends itself to the strength of the relationship whether it be positive or negative or both. 

Now this is very interesting…..because this is not how we think of ourselves.  Most of us think of ourselves as separate and independent entities standing in this world and that our thoughts, emotions, and deeds unify, but also distinguish us from each other?  We objectively see that our individuality is based upon whatever thoughts, emotions and deeds we engage in at any given time……and we apply qualitative  judgement regarding ourselves and others  based on how positively or successfully our lives unfold as a result of our engagement. 

We all think we want positive relationships and positive outcomes  and strive towards this but it is the nature of energy to polarize and this is the part most of us don’t get.  If our existence is all about the movement of energy than we have to accept that when energy moves it moves in one direction or another and if it moves in one direction than there will always be a counter movement in the other direction to balance out the energy flow in the world.  So for every movement of energy in a positive direction there is a balancing movement of energy in a negative direction.  This movement of energy manifests in the world in multiple different ways and levels while the resonance of every energy transfer/transformation takes shape and form as our reality and accumulates within us. 

So in summary what we currently exist in and as is a closed system of energy where we act as conduits for energy flow, as relationships, and which is sparked or initiated by the participation of the mind in thoughts and emotions.  This ultimately results in the progressive compiling of actions and reactions that repeat, layer, and builds our world.  Positive energy is balanced out by negative energy within this closed system.  So….. What’s the problem?  Well in a closed energy system there manifests lots of opportunity for change between positive and negative energy through the alteration of thoughts, emotions, and actions however these choices are not always easy to make as energy patterns become ingrained in individuals quite early on in their lives and ultimately results in beings that operate as robots.  This can be seen when observing the repetitive dynamics between parents and children and later between adults in long term relationships.   The polarizing nature of energy that is experienced as positive for some but negative for others actually limits growth and progress in any universal way.   What we end up with is a win / lose struggle with others for the limited positive energy in the game of survival in this world.  The more extreme the wins and losses, then correspondingly, the greater the disparity between beings in the world.

As beings we are the creators and the products of the energy system that we exist in and as….links in the system.  Although we pride ourselves on having thoughts and emotions which allow us to reflect, plan, and execute action what we don’t see is that through our participation in the energy system we have and continue to program ourselves to operate robotically within and as this system, repeating energy patterns while deluding ourselves that we in fact exist as independent thinkers, planners, and doers . 

Now this the part where everyone gets up in arms…..but stop for a moment and ponder….we may think we have some limited choice in what emotion, thought or action to engage in at any given moment in time but really who chooses their emotions and thoughts?  All we really know is how to engage and participate in transferring energy as relationship through our ingrained set patterns.  However, perhaps our only real choice is to engage or not to engage (like a light switch).  If we do not participate in thoughts, and emotions (or engage in the energy system) then how is our action directed?  If the energy system generators are based on our focus on the past and future, which does not actually exist, what happens if we only focus our attention on the present moment.  What happens if we start to live in our bodies instead of our minds?  What happens to our relationships and hence the entire energy system.  Will we cease to exist?  I suspect that we may actually begin to live.

To find out about and join others interested in such an experiment log onto desteni.org

Perspective on fairness and euality

I was listening to a radio show the other day regarding fairness and justice in relation to how to best allocate funding for the school systems from federal and provincial sources.  The 3 different speakers were very knowledgeable and were speaking philosophically about what it means to be fair and just to children with regard to funding education.  They were all able to acknowledge that the starting point for   all children is not equal and fair and that given this a just system of funding was hard to determine.  One speaker gave the perspective that school funding should not try to correct or balance the inequity, but should acknowledge it by providing funding in accordance with what already exists.  This is because the problem of inequity among different neighborhoods/schools is not the fault or responsibility of the school system and hence cannot be changed by it.  Another was of the perspective that justice and fairness in this situation had to be defined and qualified and categorized in order to decide how to best approach funding to schools.  None of the three speakers truly had an answer to apply a fair process to the situation. 

This is interesting because the financial starting point, that being what resources a child is born into, is not fair, equal, or just to begin with.  The question of fairness is addressed much too late by the government when the groundwork has already been laid for inequality.  Why do (we) pretend to care at all how fair the funding for school systems is when we have already accepted and allowed inequality to exist on such a broad scale?  The entire money system is not set up for or based on equality and does not operate on those terms.  Injecting a little bit of fairness into a system that thrives on inequality is like trying to place a Band-Aid on a zombie, or better yet, like a zombie trying to place a Band-Aid on its victim.  It has no effect, doesn’t make sense, and contradicts the zombie objective.

The only reason I can see that government agencies make a show of concern regarding how to make funding for the school system fair to all children is to distract from the systemic unfairness that exists in terms of our money system. 

Let’s imagine for a moment what would happen if all schools in a country received equal funding based on enrollment, to serve every child equally.  This would mean that every child in any school would have access to the same types of courses, library books, lunch programs, extra-curricular programs, ultimately the same educational opportunities.  Perhaps each school would be able to decide on how the money should be best used to serve the students of that school.  Equal opportunity then prevails as the educational “playing field” is leveled and each student can then strive to achieve their best.  This allows even the lower socioeconomic sector of children the same opportunity to become doctors, lawyers or entrepreneurs.  Does this mean that all children will become successful professionals or entrepreneurs? I think not.  What it means is that some otherwise “marginalized children” may have an opportunity to compete for the same limited spots in universities, and/or job market, subsequently to earn more money and ultimately to enhance their ability to survival as well as that of their offspring.  What does this actually change in the big picture?  Does everyone, then, actually get to make more money and survive well or does the competition just get stiffer.  Can everyone after matriculation then afford to go to university?  Does this mean there will be good jobs for everyone? 

Leveling the playing field for future competition does not solve the problem of scarcity which is the original problem and which is set up and propagated by the current money system.  Equality, fairness, justice cannot be served within a money system, such as capitalism, where imposed scarcity of resources inspires competition and greed.  The only way to apply meaningful fairness and justness is to equalize the money system itself so that all can be served equally from birth to death.  Otherwise it is a moot point to discuss fairness in regard to funding schools.

More information regarding an equal money system is available at:   www.desteni.org

Perspective on art

This blog entry is not intended to go into the multitude of definitions about what art is or its purpose. Instead it is more of a commentary on how the world of art, that being art making, art appreciating, and art marketing, is systematized by humans as yet another vehicle for displaying the true loveless nature of man and propagation of the energy system that we all participate in and exist as. 

Suffice to say that art is a term used to describe a way of communicating and/or self-expressing that incorporates creativity in both form and content as its distinguishing features, but lacks well defined boundaries as it more describes a process of creating something rather than a specific activity or object.  As such art is often hard to qualify and even identify at times.  Art exists in boundless different forms and what it can express is endless and usually open to interpretation to some degree.

Art making is a specific product oriented activity performed by “artists”.  Art making has been heralded throughout the ages as a specialized activity and thought to require special talent and skill and the artist has been more or less revered as one who has the ability to activate the senses of others to bring about a state of arousal through an individualized use and alignment of materials and ideas. Throughout the ages various disciplines have developed to formalize and or standardize these various approaches to art making and hence we have categories of art such as painting, sculpture, dance, poetry, and music to name just a few.  The purpose of art has been well debated over the years as well as its relevance to culture and has often been relegated as a more sophisticated form of entertainment, much to the chagrin of the art maker.

So why discuss art here?  Because artists have been seen as having a special or mysterious talent they  have often been considered to be more sensitive than others, potentially more in touch with other forms of life, as messengers, possibly more enlightened, perhaps even mentally unstable, but at the very least non-conformist and off the beaten track.  In this way artists are sometimes seen as having an extra rather intangible quality to them that many non-artists perceive they lack and covet.  They may be envied or even possibly feared, but in any case artists are typically considered special or different. 

This follows from the fact that artists make art which has the mysterious potential ability to move people to feel, think, act, or at the very least enjoy themselves while in the presence of art.   Artists claim that they are often driven to create and do not necessarily consider it a choice to be an artist.  Artists are often considered to be operating “outside of the system” as the creative process of art making takes them outside of the typical rules of conformity existent within most human endeavors.  In this way some artists give the impression that they perhaps live more pure and free lives, and are more true to themselves.  

 Having been an artist myself and having experienced the joy of expressing myself in the moment using clay as my material and losing myself for hours at a time in the act of perfecting a form.  I have experienced, for brief periods at least, the oneness of the interaction of my hands with the clay and the silent rhythms of throwing on a potter’s wheel.  I have experienced the directness of coordinating and aligning my physical body with another substance to create a form. 

 I have also experienced the heightened emotional states that result from the dashed or realized expectations of the end product and the self-judgement that result.  I have compared myself and my work to that of other artists and valued myself according to how I measure up on multiple levels.  I have relished in the ambience of the artist image and hidden myself under the guise of the mysterious or enigmatic artist.   I have basked in the opinion of others that I am special or talented because I am an artist.  I have judged and criticized the art of others in order to feel superior.  I have desired public recognition for my talents.  I have imagined myself achieving greatness in my field and also imagined myself as a failed nobody. 

In review I can see that my experiences as an artist have been similar to any individual pursuing a career “within the system” with all the emotional patterns and pitfalls that others experience.  In fact my choice to leave my life as an artist was at least partially based in a desire to escape the egomania inherent to a career in the arts.

Art marketing is itself very system based with values given to work based on who the artist is and the status they achieved.  Galleries create artificial markets and values for art in order to create a fervor or energy about certain artists.  Many collectors buy work for the purpose of investment rather than because of feeling particularly connected to a piece.  Designers buy art to complete a look or fit into a color scheme.

Finally if the purpose of creating art is to connect with others on a feeling level by producing a visual product that stimulates emotions or to communicate an idea or concept with the ultimate goal of creating a reaction in others, well, this is what we already do as humans with all forms of interaction.  Art and art making is exceptional only in that its primary objective is to express the vision, imagination, or voice of the artist and display it for others to appreciate or judge. If the expression of the artist results in a shared satisfactory experience between the maker and viewer, then the communication has been completed, whether it be on an emotional, cognitive, or spiritual level.  Whether art has the ability to reach beyond these levels to move individuals towards self-realization and self-direction is no more apparent than it is with any other discipline or form of communication.  It rather just seems to be a preference of communication forms that allows individuals to appreciate art or not.  

Finally, art does just seem to be another placement to further propagate the energy system that we already participate in and exist as.  In reality it seems there is no more individual purity or freedom in art or art making than other fields of endeavor.  This is not to say that there is no value in enjoying the moments of interacting with substances for pleasure through the senses or in appreciating another’s interaction with substances.  However, it seems that most aspects of the artistic process are system and polarity based and utilized by us self-serving humans as one of many vehicles to move energy in the survival game.

For more information on how to live more freely “outside the system” visit desteni.org

Parental Love

Blog on parental love

I was talking with a friend about parenting teenagers and discussing the challenges of parenting in a blended family.  He discussed the situation with his step daughter who is 17 and the various ways that he has managed and conceded that it has been easier for him to be authoritative with the daughter than it has been for his partner who is the girls genetic father. Because he did not have a (from birth) connection with the daughter, he experienced an easier time separating from her when imposing rules or following through with disciplinary action.  He stated that his partner found that his emotional reactions and deeper connection to the daughter actually got in the way of good consistent parenting.

I found this to be very interesting and realized that this was indeed the case for me as well in relation to my parenting…..that often it was my own emotions in relation to my son that got in the way of good parenting when it came down to discipline.  I wondered what was the difference between the step parent’s love and the genetic parent’s love.  I think most would assume that the genetic parent’s love would be stronger and truer than the step parent’s love, and hence more valid in a situation where all else is equal (meaning that the philosophy toward parenting was the same with both parents and that there were no issue between them regarding the child).  I think most would assume that the discipline would be more appropriately placed and managed by the from genetic (or from birth) parent who would be better equipped to deliver fair discipline that is counterbalanced with appropriate affection than could be possible by the step parent. 

Anyway the more I pondered this the more I realized as I struggle with my own parenting abilities that it is indeed the “emotional attachment” to our children that actually causes the most problem when it comes to parenting.  The reciprocal emotional attachment that seems to be inherent in the process of bearing a child and further developed through the nurturing of them through infancy and toddlerhood seems to be part of a design.  A design possibly meant to ensure survival of the infant but what else does this design provide.  Without this emotional attachment, which sometimes presents in me almost as an urgency to protect, satisfy and pleasure my child, am I no longer able to properly care for my child?  Would another who did not bear them be less suited to raise them properly?  Do we actually need the distinctive familial love to survive and propagate as a species?  Should this familial love supersede all other forms of love and respect?  In fact is it even a respectful love? Is it love at all?

In order for familial love to be distinctly existent as there is an identification process that occurs whereby the members within the family see themselves as more closely linked to each other (than they are with others) through genetics (or from birth relationships) and are essentially a part of each other.  In the case of parental love, children can become extensions of their parent’s egos to some degree.  This awareness strengthens through years of growing and living together.  If one were to analyse familial love from a parental perspective it is apparent that we tend to favor those in our family more so than those outside our family and through promoting and supporting them, we essentially commit to them.  In this spirit of preference and favoritism we also tend to compare our family members (children) to others and allow competitiveness to develop.  Most of us want our children to survive and do well in the world and do not like it when they are not recognized or appreciated for their qualities. We judge our children as we do ourselves judge others who we perceive may not appreciate them as we would like.  In this way we draw preferential boundaries around our family.  When it comes to disciplining our children we sometimes (depending upon the degree of identification) have difficulty allowing anything to occur in relation to them that causes them suffering or pain…..just as we do not like to suffer ourselves.  We want to protect them from pain and as such protect them from painful experiences because most of us tend to feel their pain as our own pain……a process typically referred to as over-identification.  When this occurs we think that we are having difficulty disciplining our children because we love them too much.  We actually interpret the over-identification of ourselves with our children, as love.  If we look closely and honestly it becomes apparent that this is not love….this is fear.  Fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of growth and discovery, fear of abandonment…etc. 

In this way I think that the experience of emotional attachment to our children, that we interpret as parental love,  actually interferes with good parenting in that we often do not see practically and objectively about what is to be done with our children but instead respond to isolate them from naturally occurring growth experiences that may take the form of repercussions or normal outfall from actions as we fear what that might do to them (or us). Through parenting we can see our own fears and dishonesties reflected, but the worst of it is that it actually results in reflects a “failure to parent”.  By engaging so wholeheartedly in the identification process with our children we in fact over-identify with them and disallowing them opportunities to grow and become self-responsible effective human beings.  We then rationalize our behaviour as love and protection of our children instead of facing our own limiting fears.  Through our failure to parent we transfer these fears to our children and convince them that they are not effective and valid.

I see this as another example of how the mind consciousness systems manifest within us.  How our fears and emotional reactions get transferred to our children (disguised as parental love).  If we take this back to the earlier questions about the sanctity and of parental or familial love, this is what I see:

Love is not existent in this world…… it is a word we use to sanctify attachment to others, parental love included.

What we experience as parental love is not required to raise stable, effective human beings in this word and in fact often interferes with this process.

At best we have responsibility, respect, and commitment and enjoyment of another human being(s)

Our tendency to attach ourselves emotionally to other human beings in the name of love is a misgiving.  This attachment is based in fear, always, and serves to propagate the emotional constructs from which the attachment was derived whether the attachment is to our children or others in our lives.   When we rely on our experience of attachment toward others to drive our sense of responsibility toward them the outcome is often the development of polarized emotional patterns that limit free expression and growth.

From a perspective of oneness and equality when bringing children into the world we have taken on the responsibility of raising and protecting them and as such there is a necessary commitment. Through this process we have the opportunity to discover the nature of beings (as ourselves) through the proximity and frequency of interaction, and the intensity of this experience is itself the privilege, whether in the form of enjoyment, displeasure, or the experience of universality.  The boundaries of family are practical as is our awareness of our limitations to take on the practical responsibilities of raising children.  We are aware of others paralleling our experience with their own charges and often have the opportunity to share and enjoy their families albeit most often with less intensity .   We see the development of the world through the honesty of individual expression and sharing of who we are, as our children are, without comparison, judgement or competition. 

For more information about how to live a fully engaged life, free of limiting emotional attachments, log onto Desteni.org.

Perspective on addiction

Various ways to introduce Desteni tools

Blog:  Perspective on how to bring Desteni process to your community’s awareness

This blog is a brief discussion on how to start interest in Desteni process at ones community level.  I have been thinking about various ways to introduce the principles of Desteni process to a smaller community of people in a personal way.  I think would be helpful to engage people in an active process to allow them to potentially experience the benefits of writing self forgiveness, and self corrective action, and breathing, in their own lives prior to introducing them to the Desteni website where they would then already be inspired and want to learn more about the Destiny Group and what they stand for.  So below are some ways that I have thought of that could act as vehicles for delivery in one’s own community.

Community newspaper articles:  Neighborhoods often run their own newspapers that discuss events and issues relevant to the neighborhood and welcome people to write articles on various topics.  Depending upon your neighborhood and its issues, an article can be written about the relationship between separation, self interest, competition, and how the accumulation of such in an individual expands to a community and ultimately a global level.  A suggestion in the article could be to begin a group within the relevant community with individuals that are willing to look further at how to address specific problems in a community by each member employing a personal process whilst problem solving community issues utilizing a best for all approach.  The Destiny website and could be introduced to the members as the group forms as a basis for the approach and an introduction at how this approach has been working for the people at Destiny Farm.

University news paper articles:  Often University or College news papers welcome and invite articles to be written about issues relevant to the campus life.  An interesting article could be written about the “accumulation of knowledge” and the importance of “practical application” of information and experience in one’s life and community as opposed to “talking about knowledge” for its own sake.  Another article to discuss blockages to learning or remembering information as a “mind interference” and the use of specific tools and techniques to assist with this …with reference to the Destiny website for more information.

Discussion groups:  Often community centers or neighborhood associations invite participation from the community at large to resolve specific issues  .  Here again an individual could present the idea of how problems in our society are created through accumulation of individual self interest and greed and the relationship of this to larger community problems.  The Desteni farm can be used as a model or  example of how members in a community can work together to use the personal process using tools and a “best for all” approach to start addressing specific community issues.

Create a Desteni interest group:  An individual could start their own small interest group to introduce the principles and benefits of  Desteni Process by searching out Destin participants who might live near each other and start monthly meetings to connect with each other and discuss ways together to expand membership.

Develop a childrens board game:  The creation of a board game where players are somehow motivated or challenged to work together.  The winner would be the one who is able to bring about change through cooperation.  Players would have to be presented with specific agendas or problems that are unknown to the others and go from there.  No firm ideas in place yet but could be an interesting challenge.

Make documentary film about Desteni farm:  This may be a consideration at some point to show how it is possible for individuals and communities to change and thrive utilizing the tools and employing an equal money system within a best for all approach.

Incorporate Desteni tools into profession:  Depending on your profession of course, the basic Desteni tools themselves can be instructed to individuals as a component of treatment or initially as a coping mechanism or anxiety reduction technique.  Some professions would not condone a full fledged “Desteni promotion” but certainly the basic tools of breathing self forgiveness and self corrective application could be employed.  This might work well with professions such as psychology, occupational  therapy, social work, or those that work with troubled youth in centers or group homes.

Mind interference on Pain and Pleasure

This blog is a brief discussion on how the mind creates and controls our sensory experiences.

Within my job I work with many individuals with pain disorders.  Many of these individuals have long term pain conditions which impact their daily lives and disables them from working long after the original injury has healed or is unexplained by the physical condition using current diagnostic technologies.  Many of these individuals believe that they have something deleteriously wrong with their physical body that just has not been discovered.  Many of these people carry rage or depression, and feel personally wronged by either the nature of the original injury or by other concurring or past situations in their lives. Many of these individuals express a desire to get on with their lives but feel that in spite of significant effort they have plateaued in their healing progress and cannot move out of disability created by their pain experience.

Many different therapies are used to treat these individuals such as medication, exercise, activation therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, education regarding pain, relaxation techniques, often in a multidisciplinary setting.  Usually there is only minimal to moderate improvement in the long run.  There has been some theories that suggest that psychological pain can manifest as physical pain in the body, potentially after a physical injury, as the physical injury provides a tangible “hook” for the psychological pain to express itself and be heard “so to speak”, because in our society it is considered more acceptable to have physical pain than it is to have psychological pain

Some of the most recent research regarding pain has shown that the pain experience although experienced in a body part does not originate in that body part…..but is developed in the brain.  Evidence for this exists in the phenomena known as “phantom limb syndrome”, where amputees experience pain in their missing limb. There are no nerve pathways which carry, specifically, “pain impulses” to the brain.

According to the research there are numerous modifiers in the autonomic and sympathetic nervous systems of the body which act upon the nervous system along with the original nerve impulse from the body part, to assist in creating the experience of pain.  The strength and effects of these modifiers vary among individuals according to factors such as age, trauma associated with the original injury, length of time in pain, fitness level, other medical conditions, and personality factors to name just a few.  The most powerful modifying factors, however, have been found to be an individual’s beliefs about their pain and an individuals experienced level of threat (fear) regarding their pain experience …..the mind influence!  Ultimately the findings show that….

 the greater the fear an individual has regarding pain and /or the more deleterious an individual’s beliefs are about their pain, the more intense or long lasting the pain experience seems to be. 

This experience is independent of whether or not the original injury is healed.

As such the most recent therapies to treat pain conditions now include specifically exploring and modifying the individual’s beliefs and fears regarding their conditions.  This aligns well with the information from “Desteni” regarding mind influences and mind constructs and how we as humans exist in fear and carry beliefs about our world that manifests as how we experience ourselves in this world .

The same principles of mind influence can be applied in relation to physical pleasure. I have encountered a cool example of this when playing with my son, tickling his feet.  It was interesting to note that once his feet (or other body part) had been sensitized to the light touch of a tickle, the experience of being tickled could be recreated by introducing the visual or vocal cues that a tickle was about to occur, whether it did or not.  It was the anticipation (belief and fear) regarding the tickle that created the physical experience of being tickled with all the associated laughter and jerky responses. It was the influence of the mind that created the experience of being tickled…… no longer the physical nerve pathway triggers.  This corrolates with the findings regarding the research stated above.

The implications of this are far reaching and show how we humans are indeed easily controlled by our minds and how are minds are not a friendly or benevolent master.  What this research shows as well is that we are, with effort and understanding, able to stop allowing the mind influence and our participation in mind constructs. 

Further information on the mind’s influence and how to stop participating in mind constructs is available through the Desteni website. ( http://desteni.co.za)